Welcome to The Circle, a podcast on men’s work, embodiment, and personal growth from a queer perspective. Hosts Eric Bomyea and Tim Bish explore themes like masculine and feminine energy, authenticity, and healing, offering insights that empower all men to live consciously and with purpose.
To connect, please reach out to chad@provincetownrecords.com
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#42

The Dominant Way to Avoid Burnout: Ms. Elle X on Rest and Radical Self-Advocacy

What if rest was the most dominant thing you could do?In this episode of the Circle, trauma-informed BDSM educator, licensed life coach, and former Dominatrix Ms. Elle X joins us to explore the hidden cost of leadership—and why so many men, Dominants, and space-holders burn out before they ever give themselves permission to stop. We talk about the shame that makes rest feel dangerous, how insecurity fuels overwork, and why true power comes from knowing when to say “no.” Ms. Elle reframes rest as radical self-advocacy, drawing a bold parallel between consent and rest: you can’t authentically say yes if you’re unwilling to say no.Whether you lead in the bedroom, the boardroom, or at home, this episode will challenge everything you think you know about strength, power, and the courage it takes to rest.___Glossary of Terms:What is BDSM? – An acronym for Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism. It refers to consensual practices that explore power exchange, sensation, and psychological play. At its core, BDSM is about communication, consent, and creating safe, intentional spaces for exploring power and desire.What is a Dominant (Dom/Domme)? – The person who takes the leadership or guiding role in a BDSM dynamic. A Dominant holds space, sets structure, and creates safety, allowing the Submissive to fully let go. In healthy dynamics, the Dominant’s power is rooted in consent, responsibility, and respect.What is a Submissive (Sub)? – The person who consensually surrenders control in a BDSM dynamic. For many, this surrender can feel deeply restful, freeing them from decision-making or the pressure of constant responsibility. Submissives are not passive; their active consent, communication, and boundaries are essential to the dynamic.What is D/S? - Refers specifically to the dynamic or relationship between a Dominant and a Submissive. This can be sexual or non-sexual and is centered on consensual power exchange, clear communication, and trust.What is a Switch? – A person who enjoys both Dominant and Submissive roles, depending on the context or partner. Switches may move fluidly between roles, and this flexibility often gives them deep empathy and insight into both sides of the power exchange.____Rest, burnout, and radical self-advocacy—Ms. Elle X on why leaders struggle to slow down and how boundaries restore power.Timestamps:00:00 Introduction and Podcast Overview00:23 Exploring the Hidden Cost of Leadership01:33 The Struggle with Rest and Insecurity05:41 The Importance of Consent and Boundaries13:31 Self-Awareness and Embodiment Work21:40 The Role of Rest in BDSM24:58 Being Seen and Valued in Relationships29:06 Dominance and Submission (D/S) Dynamics32:53 The Universal Lessons of BDSM34:56 The Importance of Humility in Leadership37:50 Navigating Trust and Safety in Relationships39:58 Understanding Rejection Sensitivity43:53 Balancing Dominance and Vulnerability49:56 The Power of Rest and Boundaries59:32 Concluding Thoughts and Reflections____Connect with Us & Ms. Elle XStay Connected with The CircleInstagram: @queermensembodimentYouTube: Queer Men’s EmbodimentWebsite & Community: MyEmbodiment.comConnect with Ms. Elle XInstagram: @thewisedommeYouTube: Ms. Elle XPatreon & Discord Community: Join #ElleXArmyIf this episode resonated with you, share it, leave a review, and tag us—we love hearing what landed for you. And if you’re ready to explore conscious kink, self-advocacy, and empowered relationships, go follow Ms. Elle X—her wisdom is next level.
#41

Urgency Without the Rush: Moving Quickly with Presence and Purpose | Men’s Work Podcast

Urgency doesn’t have to mean rushing. In this episode of The Circle, Eric Bomyea and Timothy Bish explore urgency and embodiment, unpacking how to move quickly with purposeful action instead of reactive rushing.Drawing from personal stories—airport chaos, bartending mishaps, and even Tim’s professional dance training—they discuss how urgency impacts the nervous system, why it often feeds perfectionism, and how to regulate it through embodiment practices.You’ll learn:The difference between rushing vs. moving with purposeHow to recognize physical signs of urgency in the bodySimple mindfulness and nervous system tools to stay grounded under pressureHow to turn urgency into an embodied spark for action rather than a source of stressPerfect for anyone navigating busy days, high-pressure moments, or exploring men’s work and embodiment practices to stay present and steady.Chapter Markers0:00 – Welcome & Introduction2:10 – Urgency as a Learned Survival Tool7:35 – The Difference Between Moving Quickly and Rushing11:50 – Physical Signs of Rushing vs. Purposeful Movement17:05 – Ayurvedic & Yogic Perspectives on Natural Pace22:40 – Airport Stories: Regulating in High-Pressure Moments30:55 – Internal vs. External Urgency: Creating It from Care & Purpose38:20 – Fitness, Perfectionism, and Rushing the Body44:10 – Urgency as a Spiritual Spark (Kirtan & Longing)50:25 – Embodiment Tools to Work with Urgency55:40 – Closing Reflections & Takeaways
#40

Belonging Without the Buzz: Queer Sobriety & Connection

What does it mean to feel free, connected, and authentic in queer spaces—without the crutch of alcohol or drugs? In this episode of The Circle, Eric and Tim are joined by Dave Becker, founder of Sober Gay Sunday, to explore queer sobriety, nightlife, and what it means to connect without substances. Dave shares his personal story—from circuit parties and addiction to building a sober community that celebrates authenticity and nervous system regulation. Together, they unpack why so many queer people seek connection through bars and substances, and how alternative spaces like sports leagues, podcasts, and sober events can offer deep belonging. Whether you're sober, sober-curious, or just navigating your place in queer community, this conversation invites reflection, honesty, and compassion.We go all in on:Why nightlife became the default way queer people connectHow sobriety opened new dimensions of joy, clarity, and nervous system awarenessWhat a more inclusive queer social landscape could look likeHow to listen to your body, set boundaries, and honor your own paceWhether you're sober, sober-curious, or just reflecting on your relationship to community and connection, this episode offers insight, honesty, and hope.Rate, review, and subscribe to The Circle to keep exploring men’s embodiment, queer healing, and personal growth.Chapter Markers:00:00 – Welcome to The Circle01:07 – Introducing Dave Becker & Sober Gay Sunday04:50 – First steps into gay nightlife and early alcohol use08:20 – When partying turns into dependence11:15 – The loop between alcohol, identity, and belonging15:35 – Queer nightlife and double lives18:55 – What are we seeking in nightlife and substances?21:50 – The “chip on the shoulder” of queer identity26:00 – The pandemic and Dave’s path to sobriety30:25 – Community support & the surprise of being celebrated sober34:05 – Advice for those navigating sobriety alone39:35 – The power of shared experience44:50 – What is a sober coach? How Dave found his50:00 – Why Dave started Sober Gay Sunday54:25 – What makes the queer sober experience unique58:40 – Social anxiety, nervous systems & knowing when to leave01:05:20 – Embodiment, boundaries & the wisdom of the body01:12:30 – Inclusive queer spaces: from bars to kickball fields01:19:15 – The structure of sport as a new kind of container01:24:00 – Sobriety as a practice, not a perfect01:27:00 – Closing reflection & breath practice with Tim
#39

Doing vs. Being: When Growth Becomes Another Grind

In this episode of The Circle, Eric and Tim explore how personal growth and spiritual practice can quietly slip into another form of hustle. Why do we sometimes treat healing like a to-do list? What happens when our breathwork, yoga, or journaling stops being supportive and starts becoming performative?Together, they unpack perfectionism, self-trust, and the radical permission to just be. From Tim’s morning breathwork dilemma to Eric’s meditation hall ego trip, this episode is a heartfelt, humorous, and deeply honest look at what it means to grow without losing yourself in the process.Topics include:The trap of trying to “win” at healingHow spiritual practices can become performanceThe importance of intention vs. outcomeThe power of check-ins and body-based awarenessWhy doing less might be exactly what you needWhether you’re burned out from personal development or just curious about being more present, this conversation is an invitation to soften, slow down, and stop striving.00:00 - Intro: The Hustle of Healing02:03 - Why We Strive Even in Spiritual Spaces06:20 - Eric’s “Best Meditator” Moment09:45 - The Yoga Trap: Performing vs. Practicing13:10 - External Validation in Embodiment Work18:25 - The Slippery Slope of “Not Doing Enough”22:42 - Spiritual Checklists: Help or Harm?28:00 - Choosing What’s Right for *Today*32:48 - The Fine Line Between Fixing and Growing36:10 - Doing to Be: Yoga's Eight Limbs42:12 - Intention, Not Just Action46:40 - Is This Practice Serving Me?50:55 - The Gift of Showing Up (Even When You Don’t Want To)57:12 - Internal Validation: Can It Be Enough?01:02:40 - From Broken to Better: Shifting Motivation01:07:30 - Men’s Work & the Power of Just Being01:11:58 - Check-Ins: A Simple, Radical Practice01:20:00 - Feeling Without Explaining01:25:30 - App Behavior, Loneliness & Conscious Choice01:31:15 - Being with Discomfort Without Numbing01:37:20 - Embodiment Is Not Measured in Metrics01:41:00 - Closing Reflections: Let Being Guide Your Doing
#38

The Father Wound Part 2 w/ Amir Khalighi: Judgment, the Lone Wolf Trap, and Re-Fathering Yourself

In Part 2 of our conversation with Amir Khalighi, we move from uncovering the father wound to exploring what it takes to heal it. Why are so many men with this wound quick to judge—others, themselves, and especially other men? How does hypervigilance become a way of life? And what does it take to re-father ourselves and trust again?We talk about the lone wolf archetype, how judgment protects what we’re not ready to feel, and why healing doesn’t require reconciling with your father—but it does require showing up for yourself.🎧 If you’ve ever struggled to ask for help, receive love, or trust other men… this conversation is for you.🔗 Learn more about Amir’s upcoming free workshop on Healing the Father Wound: https://embodiedmasculine.com/healing-the-father-wound/Full Episode Time Markers00:00 – Welcome back & episode setup02:05 – How to know if you carry a father wound05:45 – Hypervigilance and nervous system regulation09:50 – The lone wolf archetype and self-isolation14:15 – What we miss without a present father figure18:22 – Re-fathering yourself as an adult man22:03 – The power of safe containers in men’s work27:45 – Why judgment blocks healing33:10 – Amir’s story: somatic reconnection with his father39:20 – Healing the wound without needing reconciliation42:30 – Projecting the father wound onto other men & leaders48:00 – Tim’s story: transformation through trust53:20 – How healing shifts generational lines57:45 – Breaking the sound barrier: a metaphor for inner work1:00:40 – Presence as true power1:03:55 – How to take your rightful place in your lineage1:07:10 – Resources, workshops, and how to beginFollow along and engage with us:YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@QueerMensEmbodimentInstagram → https://www.instagram.com/queermensembodimentApple Podcasts → https://apple.co/43INn27Spotify → https://bit.ly/thecirclespotifyMerch Store → https://bit.ly/thecirclemerch1:1 Coaching with Tim Bish → https://timothybish.com/coaching/Send a Voice Note to Tim & Eric→ https://bit.ly/thecirclevoicenotes#MensWork #QueerMen #QueerHealing #TheCirclePodcast #TimBish #EricBomyea #LGBTQMen #Embodiment #FatherWound #InnerChildHealing #ShadowWork #EmotionalHealing #Reparenting #Hypervigilance #MasculinityHealing #embodiedmasculine