Queer therapist Tom Bruett joins us to explore what it means to move from connection that’s just physical to intimacy that’s truly embodied. We unpack how early messages around fear, secrecy, and performance shape desire, and what becomes possible when we bring awareness back into the body. Together we get practical: the “thumb out” signal for pausing when you’re overwhelmed, Dan Siegel’s hand model of the brain, the window of tolerance, and simple brain-stem tools like breath and sensation to come back online. We talk consent using Betty Martin’s Wheel, sensate focus as a no-pressure practice, and why owning your own pleasure can reduce shame and resentment. Eric shares on sober intimacy and using kink/BDSM as a bridge to presence; Tim translates models into day-to-day micro-practices you can try over dishes, on a walk, or in moments of closeness. We also name app fatigue, hypersexualized spaces, and how to de-emphasize the finish line without losing the fun.Chapter Markers00:00 – Welcome & Introductions: Eric sets the stage, introduces Tom Bruett and his work at the Queer Relationship Institute.03:20 – Queer Men, Bodies, and Hypermasculinity: How early messages about masculinity and secrecy shape our relationship with embodiment.08:45 – Differentiation & Authentic Expression: Tom explains how attachment, differentiation, and experimentation help queer men reconnect with themselves.14:30 – Adolescence Delayed: Emotional, Sexual, Spiritual: Exploring the unique timing of queer men’s adolescence and what that means for intimacy.18:55 – Physical vs. Embodied Connection: Tim and Tom define embodied intimacy, contrasting it with purely physical encounters.23:15 – Sober Intimacy & BDSM as a Bridge: Eric shares his transition into sobriety and how kink created space for embodied connection.28:40 – Desire Differences & Myths in Gay Culture: Unpacking desire discrepancy, app fatigue, and the hypersexualized pressures queer men face.34:20 – First Steps into Embodiment: Practical entry points: body scans, breathwork, yoga, dance, and sensate focus exercises.40:05 – The Nervous System & Dan Siegel’s Hand Model: Understanding hyperarousal, hypoarousal, and tools to return to regulation.45:00 – Consent, Communication & the “Thumb Out” Signal: Introducing Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent, shorthand for pausing, and reframing performance pressure.49:20 – De-Emphasizing the Finish Line: How to shift focus away from orgasm as the marker of success and expand intimacy through experimentation.52:00 – Closing Reflections: Tom, Tim, and Eric share final takeaways on vulnerability, practice, and ongoing exploration.53:08 – Closing Ritual: Tim leads the gratitude and release, “container open but not broken.”

Why is it that sometimes, even when care is offered freely, it doesn’t land? In this episode of The Circle, Eric and Tim unpack the messy, beautiful complexity of giving and receiving care.From family dynamics and love languages to roommates, ex-husbands, and Provincetown coffee shop connections, they explore why care often misses the mark—and what we can do to better recognize and receive it. They share personal stories of frustration, vulnerability, and breakthrough, reminding us that effort, transparency, and trust go a long way.This is an invitation to practice revealing what you need, honoring how others show care, and making sure the people you love actually feel it. Because if tomorrow never comes, will they know how much you cared?Chapter Markers00:00 – Welcome & Introduction: Why care is such a tender and complicated subject02:45 – When Care Doesn’t Land: Eric’s family Christmas story06:30 – Care Requires Vulnerability: Tim on courage and the glamorization of “not caring”11:00 – “It’s Just a Yoga Class”: When dismissal misses the mark15:25 – Different Languages of Care: Roommates, partners, and communication gaps21:10 – Effort vs. Perfection: Why trying matters more than getting it right26:05 – Love Letters to Friends: Tim’s reflections on Gordon and the power of reassurance32:40 – Accepting Care as It’s Given: Shifting perspective with empathy and trust37:00 – Closing Reflections & Sow: Care as ongoing practice and communicationLearn more, ask questions and practice along with us at www.myembodiment.com

In this episode of The Circle, we explore asexuality and the many ways intimacy can thrive outside of sexual expression. Eric and Tim are joined by Hannah O’Rourke—a yoga teacher and early childhood educator—who shares her experience identifying as asexual and how it reshaped her understanding of romance, validation, and connection. Together, they unpack the difference between romantic and sexual orientation, what it means to be demisexual, and how embodiment practices can help people attune to their true desires. This conversation challenges cultural assumptions about sex and identity, and offers a liberating lens for queer folks navigating their own intimate lives.Chapter Markers/Time Stamps00:00 What If Sex Isn’t the Center of Intimacy? 00:24 What Is Asexuality? A Conversation with Hannah O’Rourke 01:06 Discovering Asexual Identity: Hannah’s Story 02:28 Romantic vs. Sexual Attraction Explained 05:23 How Asexual People Navigate Relationships 15:03 The Asexuality Spectrum: Demisexual, Graysexual & More 28:10 Redefining Intimacy: Love and Connection Beyond Sex 29:38 The Opposite of Sex? Rethinking Intimacy Through Film 32:17 Being Asexual in Queer Spaces 35:43 Self-Love Without Sexual Validation 41:02 Debunking Asexual Myths and Misconceptions 50:58 Healing the Inner Child Through Self-Understanding 55:49 Final Reflections on Identity and Intimacy

In this episode of The Circle, we explore forgiveness not as a final destination, but as a living, breathing process. From unspoken resentments to painful memories of being let down, Eric and Tim share personal stories about parental wounds and what it means to carry the weight of hurt for years.This conversation unpacks:Why forgiveness isn’t the same as forgettingHow resentment impacts our nervous systems and relationshipsThe role of safety, grief, and compassion in the forgiveness processWhat it looks like to forgive without needing the other person to changeIf you’ve ever struggled to let go of a grudge, or felt the pressure to "just move on," this one’s for you. What’s one weight you’ve been carrying that might be ready to soften?Practice with us and explore embodiment tools for relational repair: 👉 https://myembodiment.comChapter Markers / Time Stamps:00:00 - Intro: Forgiveness as a Practice01:00 - What Forgiveness Really Means03:05 - Forgiveness ≠ Forgetting06:42 - The Weight We Carry: Resentment and Memory08:58 - Not Letting Go, but Lightening the Load11:31 - When Forgiveness Isn’t Closure13:30 - Parental Wounds and Resentment15:50 - Reframing the Past: Seeing with Softer Eyes18:10 - Tim’s Story: Turning Mom into Wonder Woman20:42 - The Cost of Idealization and the Gift of Reality24:30 - Bragging as a Search for Safety27:25 - From Villainizing to Understanding30:01 - Big Hurt, No Villain: How Forgiveness Actually Starts33:40 - Beliefs that Block Forgiveness36:15 - The Band Camp Story: When They Didn’t Show Up

In this episode of The Circle, Eric and Tim are joined by Tim Neal, a men’s transformation coach and embodiment facilitator, to explore the power of parts work. Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS) and shadow work, Tim explains how the voices inside us, like the inner critic or perfectionist, are not problems to fix, but parts to understand, honor, and integrate.Through personal storytelling, emotional insights, and a live parts work practice, the conversation reveals how embracing these inner parts can lead to emotional intelligence, self-trust, and what Tim calls the “centered self.” Whether you’re new to IFS or deep in your healing work, this episode will shift how you relate to your inner world.You’ll learn:What parts work is and how it relates to shadow workThe difference between exile parts and protector partsWhy trying to eliminate parts of yourself doesn’t workHow emotional awareness is the foundation of growthHow to meet your parts with compassion and curiosityChapter Markers / Time Stamps:0:00 – Intro to the episode and Tim Neal2:15 – What is parts work? Tim’s childhood story of emotional shutdown6:50 – Origins of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and blending with shadow work9:30 – Shadow work as a subset of parts work12:00 – Tim’s inner critic origin story and the rise of the achiever part15:20 – The Tony Robbins experience as a pattern interrupt18:10 – Masculinity, vulnerability, and redefining strength20:40 – The pressure to be one thing vs. embracing many parts24:00 – Mono-mind vs. multi-mind: the freedom of “a part of me”27:30 – Introducing the capital-S Self / Centered Self29:50 – Pattern interrupts, neural pathways, and belief shifts34:00 – Manager parts, exiles, and protectors explained38:00 – The fruit salad metaphor: integration, not elimination41:00 – What is the Centered Self? The goal of living from calm, clarity, and compassion43:30 – Why we can’t “cut off” our inner parts (like a sprained ankle)46:20 – The role of emotional intelligence in working with parts48:00 – Live guided practice: meeting your inner part with compassion52:15 – Eric meets his inner critic, Tim meets his inner director54:30 – What our parts are really afraid of—and how they’re trying to help56:00 – Closing reflections: parts work as a path toward self-compassionStay Connected with The CircleInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/queermensembodiment/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDCAp8OFjLrGaAwycfGmydgWebsite & Community: www.MyEmbodiment.com